When did I decide it would be okay…

17 09 2009

…to just give up on my dreams?

And why?

Because of fear? Or failure?

When did I decide that it would be okay to just settle?

The mere thought of settling used to send a shudder throughout my entire body.

When did my passions start to disappear? Or – worse – when did my passions become suffocated by things I never wanted in the first place? They haven’t disappeared exactly, but they are just as good as ignored.

And most importantly – what can I do to find myself again?

Actually, I take that back. I know the answer. I’m just too afraid to face it directly.

How did someone who was once totally defined by curiosity and an adventurous love for life become trapped and burdened with fear and unhappiness?

I need to stop being practical. I need to stop playing it safe. And I really need to stop being afraid. None of those traits will help me achieve my dreams and conquer my goals. I need to remind myself of how rewarding it can be to take risks that force me outside of my comfort zone.

I randomly stumbled across the above thoughts in an old journal of mine that I accidentally tossed to the side in the midst of my move away from Boston. I don’t necessarily feel exactly as I felt when I originally wrote these words, but a part of me definitely identifies with the overall concept so I thought I’d go ahead and share it here.





Where basketball isn’t just basketball.

8 09 2009

As I drove through the beautiful Carolina mountains on my way down to Chapel Hill, I felt my entire body smile with excitement and anticipation. My hysterics from the previous afternoon quickly dissolved into distant memory. Nothing mattered but the sun on my face and the gorgeous Carolina blue sky over my head.

When I passed through the town of Durham, I couldn’t help but stick my tongue out (yes, seriously) and laugh. Those poor Blue Devils, I thought, they have nothing on us.

As time slowly turned the hot afternoon into a perfect evening, I could feel the adrenaline pump stronger through my Carolina blue blood, but nothing could prepare me for when I would step foot in the Dean Dome later that night.

The atmosphere was electric. The energy was unrivaled. The feeling was truly extraordinary.

As former Tar Heels greats tossed orange basketballs around, I noticed that the incredible feeling at the top of the arena extended all the way down to the court. The players seemed positively giddy.

Vince Carter. Antawn Jamison. Raymond Felton. Rashad McCants. Shammond Williams. Ed Cota. Jawad Williams. Danny Green. Brendan Haywood. Ty Lawson. Sean May. Jerry Stackhouse. Wayne Ellington. Bobby Frasor. Dante Calabria. Jackie Manuel. Brandan Wright. Jeff McInnis. Marvin Williams. Rasheed Wallace. Tyler Hansbrough. Julius Peppers. Bill Guthridge. Roy Williams…

…Dean Smith and Michael Jordan!

I was breathless.

Soon the lights dimmed, the cheering multiplied and the excitement mounted…

There’s Never a Wish Better Than This When You’ve Only Got 100 Years to Live.

…These simple words accompanied the powerful images of memorable Carolina basketball moments that flashed before my tear-filled eyes.

And then – as if enough hadn’t happened already! – it was time for the main event. The professional Carolina alumni took to the court. It was nothing short of spectacular. While they were clearly playing for fun as opposed to for competition, the game could have been a continuous highlight reel.

As the evening continued, I couldn’t help but think to myself how proud I was to be a North Carolina Tar Heels fan. I couldn’t think of a more amazing event to recognize and honor such an amazing program. The emotion and pride that filled the air of the Dean E. Smith Center that night was utterly remarkable.

- – - – - – -

I have often been told that I become too personally invested in my sports teams – especially my Tar Heels. I suppose I understand why some people don’t get it, but to be honest, I feel sorry for the people who can’t relate to my love, loyalty and passion for sports.

For me, basketball isn’t just basketball. Sports aren’t just sports. It is so much more than that. My year isn’t divided into the seasons of summer, fall, winter and spring. My year is divided into Red Sox baseball season, Hokie football season and Carolina basketball season.

To possess a love for sports is to constantly live in a state of excitement and wonder. I always have something to look forward to.

To possess a love for sports is to have the ability to suspend reality. When I’m at a game (or simply watching a game), everything else magically disappears. Worries float away and problems temporarily vanish.

To possess a love for sports is to always have a constant in midst of a life full of changes. Regardless of the changes occurring in the different stages of my life, I know that my teams will always be there for me. I can depend on them season after season.

To possess a love for sports is to have hope. The impossible becomes achievable. Dreams are realized. When I watch my favorite sports teams in action, I am reminded that nothing is impossible and I can live my dreams.

The NBA says it best. Sports: “Where Amazing Happens”








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