Closer. And yet, Further Away.

I knew this would happen. I don’t think I wanted to believe it, but I knew it. I think I even verbalized it – perhaps I thought that if I said it out loud it wouldn’t come true? I guess I hoped that I was simply having silly, unwarranted fears. I guess I hoped that I would be wrong. But I knew that wasn’t the case. Deep down, I knew.

Friendships change. It’s part of life.

Throughout my life, I have had some incredible friendships. And throughout my life, some of my incredible friendships have changed and some have even faded away.

I am finally – finally! – closer to many of my very best friends. And yet, for some reason, I feel as if I am even further from them than when I was 700 miles away.

A small part of me feels as if I should be mad. But I can’t point fingers. After all, I’d probably be pointing to myself just as much as anyone else. It is what it is. And what is it, you ask? I’m not entirely sure, but I think the most appropriate word would be different. That’s all. Just different. I’m not worried that these friendships will fade away. They have changed, yes, but they won’t ever fade away. They run too deep for that.

I think I just need to acknowledge the fact that my friendships are different. Which makes sense, because we are different. We aren’t in college anymore. We have different lives. We have different goals, priorities and responsibilities.

And I shouldn’t be afraid of this change. If anything, I should embrace the change and embrace my friendships. I am so lucky to be so close to the people who mean the most to me. I can’t allow myself to be throw off by the differences in our lives. I can’t let the difference or the changes have a negative impact on my amazing friendships. If anything, my friendships should grow stronger. We should not just be closer in proximity.